Friday, December 19, 2014

Spanking in Public When Shopping With adult boys

When Getting to the Presents, Better not act up.
The Spankings Don't Stop Just Because it's Christmas

Christmas is coming and shopping with your adult boys is inevitable. And just as inevitable is a common occurrence at this time of year: boys running off without permission. I had this super kewl real life story to share with you that was just perfect! What's the chance!?!?

I don't think either Daddy John or me expected things to play out precisely as they did.

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A Paddling in the Mens' Room at the Dept Store
I wanted to bring attention back to a story I told back in 2013. The same weekend when I got my temp taken visiting Daddy John's house, something cool happened in the city. That was the public Spanking at a department store in N.Y.C.(!)

I had run off to look at stuff in this new store, and it was SUPER busy, and Daddy John and I actually did get separated from one another for real. He was busy helping littleBen get a new jacket, and I was just bored waiting on Daddy. So I ran off to find cool stuff to do.
"You know you are not supposed run off like that,
and you know better."

Obviously, because boys like me cannot run away because we all have these annoying smartphones, we found each other in a phone call. It was a great moment when he grabbed me by the upper arm right there in the underpants section and said in my ear, "You are not to run off, jake." And he shook my upper arm in front of everyone.

That was interesting.

"You know you are not supposed run off like that, and you know better." It was completely unplanned and ideal for dealing with through a Spanking, as you can imagine. 

"Your bottom is going to be so red when I'm through with you. Wait 'til we get home. We have an hour train ride back, and you, well you'd just better think about your bottom and behave."

Little did I know when we finally found a men's room after getting through the crazy busy lines to buy my new underpants and socks, that I'd be all wound up, and after peeing, forget to wash my hands, and find that that turned out to be Daddy's last straw. 

Not only had I run off, but now I was about to leave the bathroom without washing my hands. 

Keep a Paddle Handy While Shopping With Your Boys
I actually argued in my defense, "My peepee is clean, Daddy. It's the public bathroom that's dirty." But that didn't matter. He said something about teaching me manners and explaining that he had expectations about the kind of adult boy I was turning into. 

He pulled out the hand paddle he'd been keeping in his back pocket for the trip through the city in case things got out of hand, and at the hand dryer, he turned me around against the wall and paddled me pretty darned hard, like about 10 times!  It was AMAZING. 


All I could think was how my bottom wasn't mine any more. My red fanny became a separate thing from the rest of me, and if I didn't watch out, Daddy would make it red and bright in keeping with the season.


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Thursday, December 18, 2014

Domestic Discipline Week Concludes

Time To Take the Training Wheels Off as Domestic Discipline Week Concludes

As many know from Cornertime Confidential's social media pages, I "suddenly" found myself in a Domestic Discipline relationship in March when I "came out" to my then boyfriend, now Daddy. 

Before he found out I was in need of a DD relationship (and as I was in the midst of breaking up with him, because I didn't think I could actually TELL him I wanted him to discipline me as a part of making our relationship a better place for the both of us), we were what I perceived to be in a TON of trouble with regards to:

  • Disrespect (me not respecting him and his opinions);
  • Talking over him particularly on hot topic conversations about politics, relationships, and even pop culture convos;
  • Mouthing off and being dismissive of him; and generally;
  • Not listening to him when he'd be trying to be the Dominant partner in our vanilla relationship.


With the possibility of him Spanking me—or administering any number of other Disciplinary Actions—now we have a much, much, much better solution than just The Silent Treatment or simply moving on and pretending everything is fine.

[Truth is this push to get out of the relationship happened because of a weekend trip into the country which started out with a fight in the car, which ended with him saying, "You are so hard to talk to sometimes!" He steamed for hours, and it took us until the next day when we were with friends for the bad mojo to dissipate.That’s when I knew—after a ton on chats with boyjohnny, DaddyRay, and DaddyBrandon— if he didn’t want to go on a DD journey with me, I’d have to get back to my search for a Daddy in earnest.]

At any rate, that was mid-March, and since then, things at home have changed thanks to the good folks at ADDS.com, learningDD.com, gaydomesticdiscipline.com , FetLife, a bunch of friends in DD relationships, and a few other online locations,

My online buddy James says about his 7-year Domestic Discipline relationship,

"In terms of sharing, all I can say is that Domestic Discipline relationships are simply wonderful and far more loving that some people may understand. There is a huge focus on wellbeing, emotional development, and the relationship as a whole. Punishments are a part of the relationship, but it is all about Truth, Trust, and Love, even when I have a very sore and very red bottom in The Corner." 

And that is precisely what Daddy and I have been experiencing.  

i think I've been able to commit more to him, because all the truth, trust, and love required to empower him to be my full time Partner, Disciplinarian, and yes, also Lover, causes a shift in the way we are with one another. That doesn't mean that my usual aggressive tendency to dominate the conversation and such doesn't get in the way of a harmonious home life, but at least now, Daddy can and does say, "You know, I don't like that tone. You are not being reasonable." Daddy has spoken up much more, demanded that I pay attention more, articulated things like, "Yet again, you are not listening to me."

Rather than, saying nothing and not having an action he can take—yet still thinking that but saying nothing, and letting me walk all over him—he now speaks up and carries a Spanking Stick. The natural kind of disobedience an adult boy bristles with when he talks to his friends, family, or partner is still going to happen, anyways. However, without the verbal and physical correction, it would all just unravel for us.

Now at the very least, I try to not walk all over him because I'm bored. My challenge is me domineering conversations is just who I am and what I've grown up to be. In order to be a better boy in this relationship, Daddy’s guiding hand helps shift the power dynamic. And combined with his newly-gained verbal control, he helps (sometimes even publicly!) to almost shame me into obedience. Just the other day in front of friends, he announced, “I need to talk to you.” There was a hush, sort of a school-type, “Ooooooooo! jake’s in trouble!”sort of energy from the 6 friends who were there. He took me aside to reprimand me, and my friend E said to the whole group after we returned, "I'm so glad you two are together again."

It's been super for us mostly, although the hiccups along the way are sometimes very frustrating. I mean, he never Spanked an adult boy before, and he's having to make the division in his mind between love and what he calls “beating” me. He’s begun to see the difference between Spanking and beating, and well, sometimes that's not easy to do if you are a vanilla guy. I think he's growing to get comfortable with his new-found authority, however. So much so that this morning I think we had something of a "come to jesus moment."


I said, "I should have to see and kiss you everyday. Just like yesterday, when you just dropped by to leave the thumbdrive with the videos on them." 

And he said, "Then you'll get bored with me." 

And I said, "More like vice versa. I know you find me too demanding." 

But he followed up with a really surprising comment, "Only a little to be honest. But the truth is that if not for you, we would barely see each other. I appreciate you pulling me alongside you. It's true. You make us work. I love that about you. I'm always happy when I'm with you. Even if it seems like I'm not." 

You know, truth be told, being with a guy who is mostly not turned on by Spanking a boy is a challenge. We didn't meet like other boys and Daddys—online or at a Spanking party. So essentially, my Daddy is a newly-minted creation, he’s built himself whole cloth out of a vanilla relationship that was going south.

It's a surprising and exciting experience to rejuvenate strong emotions and feelings by grounding the new form of our relationship in Domestic Discipline. And as time passes, all of my advice and suggestions for how to incorporate discipline into our lives is going to have to change. It’s for the best, as my friend johnny said yesterday, "Well, jake, you know you've been 'training' him to be your Daddy since when? for a good long while now. You need to stop. Defer to him now. Let him decide when you are to be disciplined from now on. You should basically not be coming to him for Spankings any more. He should come to you when he's good and ready. Time to take the training wheels off."

Well, talked with Daddy and he doesn’t want me to rip the training wheels off, he wants to go slow. And I think that’s a great idea for us. As he said, “I don’t really know all the things that we can do that will count as satisfying, so keep giving me advice, send me a link to a video or something to read, but stop telling me how to do this. Be my advisor, not my instructor.”

And so the Domestic Discipline journey continues.


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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Creating an Atmosphere of Spanking in Your Domestic Discipline Home

Punishment Chairs

Why You Should Include Punishment Chairs 
in Your Domestic Discipline Routines
I think in my Domestic Discipline life, it goes without saying, there's nothing like the inclusion in our DD home an honest-to-goodness Spanking Chair. That's the chair that Daddy uses regularly when he needs to be administer corporal punishment.

On SouthSpanking.com the other day, I was checking out a thread on Spanking Chairs that came up in my notifications. It felt good not to be alone in this.

The topic has been alive on SouthSpanking since May 2011. It's surprising, really. Every once in a while I seems to get an update notification. This particular week it was from SpankdBear who had this to say that I thought was a compelling reason for the need for these chairs:

Although a Spanking given at any time, any position is always a good Spanking, I think the idea of a solid, arm-less, strong wooden chair is a good piece of furniture to have in any house for any Daddy or naughty boy to use as intended. 

The idea of a Daddy sitting down on this heavy wooden chair, looking you in the eye, rolling up his sleeves, calling you over to stand in front of him, your hands on your head or behind you as he scolds you, and Daddy reaches over and undoes your pants and pulls them down, grabs your wrist and hauls you over his lap for the punishment you know you deserve and have coming Well, need I say more for "The Spanking Chair?"

The dialogue got started when SouthSpanking.com's WebBoy started the conversation:

I often think that a special chair for Spanking is an interesting addition to punishment. It would be particularly tense if the bad boy had to go with his dad or top to buy one before it was installed, and of course upon returning to the house it would need to be tested.

It could become very symbolic for naughty boys, for example "Right young man, strip to your underpants, get the Spanking chair out and stand in your Corner, nose to the wall."

The act of placing the chair, the platform for his Daddy/top to sit on while administering his punishment would sure add another level of anticipation.

What do you think?

Truth be told, Daddy and I have our very own Spanking Chair facing The Corner all throughout the day. It has a place of prominence in the house in which I'm spanked. And it's working nicely.

The Spanking Chair my Daddy Uses
to Spank me When I'm Naughty.
"I'm also a big fan of spanking benches, horses, and any furniture made specifically for the purpose of corporal punishment," said SlimPainsTaker. "Such furniture adds a definite air of seriousness to the proceedings. The desired sense of anticipation certainly builds throughout the ritual of stripping and assuming a position on the furniture. Spanking furniture also heightens the sense of exposure and vulnerability...I think well-designed furniture can add tremendously to the experience for both top and bottom."

I just loved this email trail: very eye-opening.

I think a paddle or wooden Spanking Stick hanging on the wall, The Hairbrush that's in the drawer and a punishment chair (hard wood-bottomed chair that the spanked boy has to sit on when Daddy gives him his talking-to are all great for emphasizing the seriousness of the boy's misbehavior and why the disciplining is so important). This Spanking is not something that Daddy wants to do, but something that because of your behavior, Daddy has no choice but now he has to do.

I think that having the "A-Bomb" hanging on the wall for bad behavior, The Hairbrush in the drawer, the Lux soap in the soapdish, The Bathbrush in the shower, and a very clearly delineated Corner of the Spanking Room where the boy with the red bottom is going to be standing in case behavior gets out of hand, is really, really helpful for creating a sense of Domestic Discipline 24/7. Whenever a Daddy has such a set up arranged at his home, the boys who are spanked there, well, it reminds the boys everyday why good behavior is so important.

There's a chair in my spare room that's a solid wooden armless chair. Sir used it the first time he spanked me and now it's my Spanking Chair.

He migrated it to my bedroom, it sits in The Corner... facing out, with The Hairbrush he uses to spank me sitting on it. It comes out of The Corner, and I go into The Corner when I'm in trouble.

I've also had to sit on it to write lines, squirming on a very sore bottom.


I love the idea of a Spanking Chair. I believe it adds to the general atmosphere of a Spanking scene. In addition, I love the Spanking bench I believe that the chair restricts the Spanking in general. I feel the bench gives you a direct target that isn't restricted at all.


Ultimately, James probably summed it up best when he concluded, "As I am personally in a domestic discipline relationship, the spanking chair serves as a platform for turning me over....I can assure you sitting on the very chair you are soon going to be in an upside down position on is quite a mental feeling—lots of emotions come to bare. :-)"

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Tuesday, December 16, 2014

The Punishment System and a DD Family Worksheet

Earlier this Fall, in the spirit of developing useful and fun tools for the Domestic Discipline household, I checked in with my FB followers for some ideas about how to develop a behavior chart to help boys learn to obey Daddys Rules.

The outcome you see below. I think it is rudimentary still, and it would benefit from trying out with some DD Daddys and sons, before we can claim this works. However, I think we're more than half way there.

The point system idea is that if your boy fails to follow any of the rules, he does so knowing that on a weekly basis, he is accumulating points. As he does, you review his progress as a weekly Discipline Review meeting you hold with him. Below this chart, you can read an "article" from James, the web-boy at Southspanking.com. He has come up with a fun, practical, and at the same time corporal punishment-focused plan to deal with adult boys on a weekly basis. No more do you have to come up with reasons to instill discipline in your boys.

Now, thanks to the combo of this chart and James' (the blogpost from yesterday and below) plan, I think you can work together to improve either your DD relationships or even your more casual "some-time" meet-ups with boys you do not get to oversee on a daily basis.

I know I'd love any input you have. 
Feel free to comment at the bottom of today's post.




Following Daddy’s Rules


Sun.
Mon.
Tues.
Wed.
Thurs.
Fri.
Sat.
Points
1.     Brush your teeth after breakfast

2.     Brush your teeth before bedtime
am

pm
am

pm
am

pm
am

pm
am

pm
am

pm
am

pm

3.     Change your Underpants every other day (or daily, depending on Daddy’s wishes).

am

am

am

am

4.     Wash all the dishes (or put dishes in the dishwasher).

pm
pm
pm
pm
pm
pm
pm

5.     Put your clothes in the wash or hamper after work. Change into your play clothes.

pm
pm
pm
pm
pm
pm
pm

6.     Complete all of your chores.

By 12pm

pm

pm

By 12pm

7.     Take your bath/shower before work or before bedtime.

am
pm
am
pm
am
pm
am

8.     Empty the Trash

By
4 pm



After
Work



9.     If you bring any work home that must be done before play or TV.

pm
pm
pm
pm
pm
pm
pm

10. Be ready for bedtime every weeknight with an hour extension for good behavior on  Friday/Saturday.
9pm
9pm
9pm
9pm
9pm
10pm
10pm

Points for not following Daddy’s Rules










Change your Underpants every other day
(or daily, depending on Daddy’s wishes).
A shorthand process to filling in the "points" section of this Domestic Discipline worksheet is available below by adapting James' "Punishment System" approach below. I think that instead of points for bad language, cheek, etc., you simply apply points for each of Daddy's Rules that are not followed. Some can be more heavily weighted than others, and points can accrue with an agreed upon "key" or "guide" that Daddy and his boy can set in place before they ever get rolling.

Once set in motion, The Punishment System and the accompanying DD Worksheet can dovetail, hand-in-hand, so that at the very least corporal punishment can be administered with efficiency and without a lot of chit chat and backsliding.


Here's how this is applied in James' life. Adapted from his article from Southspanking.com:

The Punishment System 
by James from SouthSpanking.com 

It does not really matter whether you are in a full-time Domestic Discipline (DD) relationship, or if you meet your Dom or sub regularly, what does matter is that there is at least some concept of time involved and communication. The idea behind a Punishment System is for two (or more) guys to decide to institute one.

"...with his bare bottom still on display and nicely red,
he must ask Daddy how many points he has earned."
It can bring a different set of emotions for both regular Domestic Discipline and those regular who have more infrequent meet-ups. In some cases it will bring trepidation, nerves, and excitement, and in other instances, it will serve to spice up your DD relationship. I am discussing this from a Domestic Discipline perspective, but I am certain anyone can use a similar system with a bit of tweaking.

First, make a chart like you see above.

It can be done on a simple sheet of paper or even in an online diary—whatever is best suited to your needs. Every time the naughty boy is punished and with his bare bottom still on display and nicely red, he must ask Daddy how many points he has earned. Once confirmation from Daddy has been given, then the just-spanked boy must now physically go and write down or record his punishment along with the points allotted. It is important to note that points are only awarded once his bare bottom has been soundly tanned.

Examples of points could be:
  • Bad Language—5 points
  • Disobedience—10 Points
  • Cheek / Rude—5 Points
  • Excess Computer Time—10 Points
  • Lying / Fibbing—20 Points
  • And so on… 
Discipline Review 
Each week on a particular day and time the naughty boy must fetch or print out his list/diary and prepare for his review, and present it to Daddy. It is important that the boy is aware of the precise date and time and that he prepares for it properly, In my case, this review is conducted on Friday afternoons when Dad returns from work as typically he as more time to spend with me then.
Ensure your boy dresses appropriately

Dress Code
Ensure your boy dresses appropriately, something nice and simple, perhaps sweat pants, briefs, and t-shirt or shorts and properly matching attire.

Process
Don’t rush this review; take your time. If you wish, send your boy to The Corner to think, while you go over his list. It is now up to Daddy to determine whether his boy has earned a Punishment Spanking or not.

This is done by adding up the points, for example, you could use ranges such as:

  • 0 Points        = boy gets to decide if he needs a Reminder Spanking over your lap.
  • 1-9 Points     = HandSpanking as a reminder, bare-bottomed.
  • 10-15 Points = HandSpanking & Cornertime
  • 16-20 Points = HandSpanking, Hairbrush, and Cornertime
  • 21-24 Points = HandSpanking, Hairbrush, Switch/Cane, and Cornertime
  • 24 Points+    = The same as 21-24 points + Hairbrush before bed that evening in addition and                            lengthy Cornertime.

Administer the Spanking, and do it well, especially if he has 10 points or more.

21-24 Points = HandSpanking, Hairbrush, Switch/Cane,

Again, you can vary the punishments by adding or changing them as you see fit. I was actually going to implement an online diary on Southspanking.com, so Daddys can keep a track of naughty boys punishments, and possibly if invited by the boys own Daddy other guys could award points for misbehaviour, but I figured that would be kind of mean of me to do.

Nothing to do with protecting my own bottom, honest!

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