Friday, August 3, 2012

Wearing Boys’ Clothes As an Adult Boy?

A Conversation with Adult SkewlBoy Paul

Jake:    Hey there, Paul, I’m so glad we decided to launch this discussion at Cornertime Confidential. We Adult Boys have a lot of things in common but a lot of things that work for some, don’t necessarily work for others. Today’s blogpost is about wearing boys’ clothes. I was home sick the other day, and so I called Daddy Larry. He came over to see how sick I really was. You know how boys can fib about being sick, just so they get to stay home? Turns out I was really sick, actually. I didn’t know how he was going to determine if I was telling the truth this time, so when he came over, he had me get in my briefs, and my boys t-shirt, and PJs, and then well, I figured I’d get to watch TV. I wasn’t right on that account.

Paul:    I LOVE spending time at home just in my briefs and a t-shirt, and maybe in some white socks. I will hang out and read books (like Hardy Boys books) dressed like that, and I even do homework sometimes at my desk dressed in my underpants and t-shirt. My dad tells me that it’s really typical of boys to do this. And my friends who have 11- and 12- and 13-year old sons tell me that their boys do this all the time.

Jake:    Me too, actually! So this sick day was beginning to look a lot brighter. Then he told me he was going to take my temperature. (!!!)

[Cue dark foreboding music here.]

Well, I know what that means, and so I was really gripey, and complained and pouted. He must have known he was going to get push back, so he pulled out the hairbrush and warned me to pipe down. But I didn’t, so he swatted me a couple of time. But he must have seen how tired I was. I didn’t get spanked after the few swats I got for getting all jumpy about Daddy taking my temp. He turned me around and pulled me over to the bed. But he just had me lay flat, belly down, and Daddy pulled my PJs and then my briefs below my bottom and pushed in the thermometer. Have you ever had your temperature taken? He pushed in the Spongebob Squarepants thermometer into my fanny just like that! (It’s actually a cool thermometer; it plays the TV show’s theme song when the thermometer is ready to pull out of my bottom! When the song ends, it’s time to see what your temp is.)

Paul:    That sounds really cool!

Jake:    So kewl. Anywayz, the t-shirt is a Ginch Gonch blue-boy shirt with red trim—it’s from ages ago, but it’s really held up. It was made for men, but clearly cut for boys like me! It makes me feel very boyish, and works perfectly to turn me into a boy when Daddys take the opportunity to have me raise up my arms and pull my shirt over my head.

Paul:    Yeah, I have some boys t-shirts from Lands End. I really like striped t-shirts, which make me look totally 11 years old! Gap and Old Navy also sell boys t-shirts that can fit small Adult Boys like us.

SkewlBoy Paul's Paddled Bottom in His PJs

Jake:    You know, I didn’t know that at all!  Lands End?  Who woulda thunk it? Ya know, I have to get online and get into the stores again. Old Navy is always good for finding surprise boys clothing in the men’s section. I often find myself at Target in the youth department. They have boy (baseball or cartoon character) caps that flip up in front which are also super boyish. I love ‘em. My spiderman cap is one of the best.

Well, on my sick day, I ended up in PJs too. I got 'em at Target in the youth section. They have Spiderman PJs, and the XLs fit! They are not very long, though, so they look a little short in the ankle, but since kids are always having growth spurts, I figure I just look like I'm having a growth spurt! But I could also have been put into my adult-sized Spongebob Squarepants PJs that I got online. There’s a lot of Spongebob clothing for grownups online. That's the best thing! The internet makes buying these clothes so much easier than ever...!

Paul:    I shop in the boys’ departments all the time. At first I was kinda self-conscious about trying on things (like cargo shorts), but I figure who really cares? And boys’ clothes are usually less expensive too! Underwear can be tricky, though, because it can be cut very small up-front, which can make it uncomfortable for Adult Boys. I’ve found that Fruit of the Loom (FOTL) boys’ briefs are cut generously enough to fit, and so are Jockey brand boys briefs (if you can find them anymore).

What’s so cool about FOTL briefs is that they will ride up some in the back, and the waistband will show over your jeans or shorts. That is so 100% boy! What’s great too is when the waistband of boys’ briefs is different from the band on men’s briefs – so anyone who knows anything about underwear who sees your waistband knows you are wearing boys’ underwear!

Jake:    I totally know what you mean about the waistband. There was an article many, many years ago in a now defunct magazine that I still have a copy of that referred to the waistband of a man’s briefs as his “slip”—like his slip is showing when you can see the waistband of my underpants. That article was called “In Praise of White Jockey Shorts!” Kewl, right?

Paul:    Oh gosh! I know that article really well. There was an old Jockey ad in it of a college guy being paddled on the seat of his briefs. The things a boy will remember!

Jake:    I agree with you that buying boys underpants for yourself as a grown Adult Boy is a tough one. I gotta tell you, though, if you spend enough time on eBay and keep checking in, boys briefs in the XL range (sizes 16-20) tend to go up for bid on a monthly basis. I have the totally most awesome pair of Disney-brand “Cars” racing briefs. One pair is red and the other is blue, but the images of Lightening McQueen couldn’t be more boyish if they tried. And there’s plenty of room front and back.

I love this blogpost, cuz it keeps taking me away from that story about my sick day! Anywayz, like I was sayin’, I was soooo tired, and I’d already been swatted because I’d been resisting getting my temp taken. Have you ever gotten in trouble for fighting it?

Paul:    Sure! Don’t all boys have their temperature taken by their dads? My dad has a regular thermometer that he uses. Sometimes he puts me over his knee and takes my temperature there, and sometimes he does what your Uncle Larry did. Even though we don’t like it when they do this, it’s kinda comforting to know they care so much.

Jake:    You know you’re right. I didn’t think about that. I guess if a grown Daddy is willing to pull down your pants just to stick a thermometer in your fanny to see if you have a temp, he must be a real good Daddy. But still, I don’t like getting those things stuck in my rumpus. I gotta tell ya.

Well, like I was saying, after the Spongebob Squarepants theme song played, he popped it out, and saw that I was over 100 degrees (!!!) so he pulled up my underpants.  But not like usual, this time, I got to pull up my own PJ bottoms, and squirmed into bed. Feeling all funny in my bottom, but feeling like Daddy wanted me to be a big boy about my cold, and not fuss.  So I didn’t.

Paul:    Wow, when my dad is taking care of me, he is always the one to take care of my pants and briefs; he takes them down and he pulls them up. He has dressed me after a bath too, putting my socks on my feet and sliding my briefs and PJ bottoms on too.

Jake:    You are soooo lucky, Paul. I don’t always get that sort of treatment from Daddys. But there was a cool part that I wasn’t ready for either. So anyways, so I slept for about three hours and then woke up to eat lunch.

Paul:    Even when you’re not sick, naps are kinda nice. When I get tired in the middle of the day, I take off my sneakers and my shorts and lie down in my briefs and t-shirt. Then when I get up I have lots more energy!

Jake:    Oh no! I hate having to take my naps. My Daddy Dennis made me take a nap and I got such a paddling for not settling down and napping like he told me to. He had done something that totally freaked me out: he put me in a diaper, because he said I’d been acting like a little baby, and if I wasn’t going to act like a big boy, then he’d treat me like a baby. So he did! I couldn’t settle down and nap after that struggle. I’d never been shoved into a Goodnights pull up diaper before, and then he had this Bob the Builder diaper cover, and a pacifier. Well, I couldn’t imagine doing anything with that pacifier, and he kept trying to stick that in my mouth, but I wouldn’t behave, so he spanked me soundly with…The Hairbrush.

[Again, cue dark foreboding music here.]

Have you ever had The Hairbrush? It’s somethin’ else!  Looks like a little nothing, but packs a powerful fanny paddling punishment, I’ll tell ya.

Paul:    Geez, Jake, I’ve had the hairbrush so often I couldn’t count! But let’s save that for another post!

Jake:    You are soooo right!  That Hairbrush is its own post entirely!

Anywayz, like I says, Daddy Larry had gone, but by the time I woke up, I saw that he had laid out some of my summer camp clothes, so that I could sit around in my shorty khaki shorts, and my striped boy’s shirt and eat what he'd made for me. It’s super cool to get to do that! 

Paul:    That is so great. Dads and uncles can be so nice to us, even though they are also the ones to spank us. It’s so cool that he picked out your clothes to wear.

Jake:    Yeah, it was weird because that had never happened before either. I guess that’s also why Dads and uncles can be so great…the surprises! Daddy John once came back from New York with a pair of Talbott’s baby elephant cartoon character briefs for boys for me!  Daddy John doesn’t really get into boys briefs, but his boyjohn—who is also a big, big fan of collecting boys underpants big enough for a man to wear—had asked him to give them to me.  Boyjohn knew my particular interest in super cool underpants!  He had Daddy give them to me when he had come to town to give me a spanking.  I felt so lucky!  And like I say, surprised!  I love surprises!

Anywayz, like I was sayin, Daddy Larry also put out my Spiderman cap and striped ankle socks by Tommy Hilfiger. The socks are very retro and perfect for my boy clothes. But today, he also laid out my absolutely favorite of all time cartoon print Lightening McQueen briefs from Disney that I mentioned earlier. I love my “Cars” briefs for boys! They’re size 16-18, but they fit perfectly for me. I’m a 32” inch waist, more or less, depending, and so I’m super excited that the two pairs I got on eBay fit. So, I’m writing this up with you in my summer clothes “kit” and my fav briefs of all times!

Paul:    All summer long I’ve been wearing shorts all the time, and I always wear ankle socks or white crew socks. I like striped socks too, and I have some cool colored ones that kinda match different shirts or shorts.

When people comment on the colors, I always grin and say, “Aren’t Garanimals great?”

Hey, I have a 30-inch waist, so I can buy lots of boys’ clothes. I don’t have any cartoon briefs. I guess I’ve always been a white briefs boy, but maybe I should get more playful. I’m loving summer vacation ‘cause I get to wear play-clothes ALL the time.

 What more can a boy like me want?!

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